The Invisible Bridge

Taking a leap of faith

There’s a beautiful scene in the 1989 movie, Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade where Indy has to take a “leap of faith” by stepping out onto an invisible bridge over a vast chasm, the depths of which are left to the imagination, but quite obviously fatal if his faith falls short. Despite the feedback from every cell in his body, Dr. Jones does the counter-instinctual move in order to take a step closer to his desired path. He is willing to feel terror and still move towards something he values more than feeling safe, in this case love.

Now, I’m not Indiana but I am an introvert, true and through. Those of you who know me just said, "No shit." Being an introvert means that my instinct is to retreat to my inner world. I prefer to direct my attention inward and to self-reflect whenever I can . That's my happy place. That's where my comfort food is found. I have over 10,000 hours of introversion under my belt and can do it in my sleep, so to speak.

And yet, tonight I am heading to a three hour gathering with four brothers, to lead a retreat with around 30 or 40 men. Maybe more.

Why? When I could be snuggled up on the couch with my wife and kids, or a good book. Why choose the discomfort of sitting with strangers, and risking the social anxiety that inevitably arises for me in group situations?

The answer is simple, I am choosing to value growth more than comfort tonight. And growing for me, means leaning into the vulnerability of extraversion. It means facing my fears of feeling really awkward and anxious around other people, and possibly hurting someone’s feelings, or worse having my feelings hurt! It means overcoming my instinct to protect and take a risk to move towards something I value - connection.

Now for my extroverted brothers and sisters, growth involves the opposite risk. It does not mean being alone, per se, but rather being introspective, reflective, and sitting with the inevitable feelings that arise when slowing down and turning the gaze inward. This can be quite uncomfortable for those that seek stimulation, connection and activity as a way of feeling good in the world. To sit still and feel the chaos of the mind can be quite counter-instinctual for extroverts. And it can lead to growth.

To be clear, I don't mean that we should do difficult things just for the sake of being uncomfortable. Rather, I mean that in order to become larger in our capacity and potential, we have to be willing to feel discomfort in the service of accepting parts of ourselves that we do not instinctually, or reflexively want to experience. If I want to experience the wisdom, vitality, and connection of community, I have to lean into the discomfort of social anxiety.

And it will grow me, if I let it.

If you are extroverted by nature, gathering in an intimate group of men offers you the opportunity to touch into parts of yourself that you otherwise reflexively avoid, parts that require stillness and being with difficult emotions.

And it will grow you, if you let it.

Either way you prefer to direct your energy, consider taking a leap of faith. And if you want to join us tonight, there’s still room for you. (Registration closes at 3:45p today): https://goldenbridge.org/events/mythic-laboratory/

We won’t have you walking precariously across any chasms but there may just be an invisible bridge for you to cross. What might be waiting on the other side?